dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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