First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
