I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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