Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
