Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize