I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
