im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
