I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
