Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
