Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
