thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
