fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
