i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
