Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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