That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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