I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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