Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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