I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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