I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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