found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
