Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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