I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
