In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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