she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
