Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
