If i come over, it means nothing
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I pour the whiskey from now on
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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