I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
