I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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