Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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