worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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