Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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