Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
