i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
