The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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