You really coming over, don't trick.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
