Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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