And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
