So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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