i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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