I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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