but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
