Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
