And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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