Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
