On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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