I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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