Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
