The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
