Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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