i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
