Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
