Can Purell be used as lube?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Randomize
