Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
