now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
