My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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