shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
