I'm jealous of your bromance
i just had sex bonerless
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
