He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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