I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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