remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize