You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
