i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
