I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's never too late to be topless.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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